The Humblr Blog’s Guide to Fine Dining Experiences: Russian Edition
I recently had the pleasure of attending a family friend’s surprise 50th birthday party, held at a not so humble restaurant. While this was not my first experience at an event such as this, it was probably my most humbling. I’m happy to compile a guide to such an evening…
a note to all humans
“You down to have some fun?!” is not a proper pick up line. Even if all you’re looking for is a wham bam thank you ma’am. mmmk? thanks!
THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST CONVERSATIONS EVER.
Leah tells me (PUM) a story where someone she knows screwed something up.
PUM: KNOCK KNOCK
LEAH: *giggles* WHO’SE THERE?!?
PUM: FUUUUUCKKKEDDD UP!!!!!
LEAH: *cracking up* FUCKED UP WHOOOO?
PUM: She don’ FUCKED UPPP!!!
LEAH: Where did you get this joke from?!
PUM: I made it up yo. Off the dome.
so this was an interesting case…i am on a roll, i have been posting up like 2 guys a week. these are just observations…this one gets my number…now i wasn’t too interested because he’s sort completely not my type… (5’6) but he seemed sweet so i went with it. even little guys deserve a chance-i don’t hate. but i should have known something was wrong when on the first day of talking (VIA TEXT MESSAGE), he decided to text me 5 times because I wouldn’t respond to his question for ten minutes during business hours because I was on a conference call. Then he wrote me a nasty message on the website he met me on to tell me that I’m on there “ALL THE TIME”…my lap top is always on the same websites. So no shit shelock…stop stalking. After that he decides to tell me that he’s not interested because I called him out for being psychotic.
MY QUESTION REMAINS: are there normal men out there? dating websites is obviously not where they can be found. Can anyone tell me, where they are then? There must be one left for me :)
Just to let everyone know
The below posts are not guy bashing. I do not hate all men, it’s actually quite the obvious HOWEVER, I do not put up with people who disrespect me and have no problem admitting that I tend to be a spiteful person.
This is not to say that I am upset with these people or that I feel like they are in debt to me. I forgive and forget but feel that if you have the decency to make a fool out of yourself in front of one person, then what’s 2 or 5 thousand more people?!
I guess it’s to teach a lesson and to poke a little fun.
Nothing personal, just something I like to call light humor.
Just because you used to date me, does not mean you get me and definitely does not mean that you have any right to be cocky. I just brushed my shoulders off. :)
Are all men insane?!
This winner talks to me for like a week while trying to convince me that he wants to “settle down” with the “right person”. Umm, you have a kid and baby mama drama, list yourself looking for an intimate encounter and when I tell you that I am not sure what your intentions are, you tell me that at 40 years old you are more in shape than I am. LMAO and then block me. First off, we weren’t talking about fitness smartass!
No wonder your wife of 10 years left you. First off, at 40 you should not be talking to a 25 year old and secondly, you contacted me and i told you off the bat, that we are looking for two separate things. So why don’t you go down to the Jersey Shore, bang a chick in snow boots in the summer and call it a day!! Mkay?!?
Another one bites the dust…So I am on my online dating site when I get an email from this winner. “Can I help you” he asks. “With what?!” I ask him. “Nothing stop looking at my profile!” he says to me.
First off buddy, if you can somehow see this post, you are not good looking. And second, you have SOME balls to actually email me. Reality is, you’re probably lacking in some places and you can say thank you to your parents for that. Somehow/somewhere the chromosomes didn’t match up. You are one hair short of a potato.
:) I love idiots.
i might be working on this movie. What do you think?
amazing cover by Priscilla Raine
